


Bereavement

by ScientificCorgi



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Angst, Crying, Death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8738581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScientificCorgi/pseuds/ScientificCorgi
Summary: Bereavement (Bih-reev-muh-nt):Noun.1.   a period of mourning after a loss, especially after the death of a loved one.2.   a state of intense grief, as after the loss of a loved one; desolation.





	

“I’m dying.”

Silence filled the room with the two men. Smith’s body felt numb, as if this were a dream.

“No, you’re not.”

“Smith.” Ross’ voice wavered as he spoke softly, blue eyes meeting Smith’s own. “I’m- I have six months left.”

Smith’s lips formed a frown as he avoided his boyfriend’s gaze, his eyes settling on a spot of beige carpet.

“You’re lying.”

Ross extended his arms out to Smith, taking a hold of his hands and squeezing lightly. “I wouldn’t lie about this. It wouldn’t be right.”

“No.” Smith mumbled tearfully, tugging his hands away from Ross’ touch. “You are not dying.”

“Smith, please.”

“You’re not- If you loved me you wouldn’t be dying-“

“Alex.”

“You just wouldn’t do this to me.”

“Alex!” Ross raised his voice above Smith’s, trying to regain his boyfriend’s attention. Once Smith was silenced, Ross spoke as softly as before. “I have a cancer that can’t be cured. I’m dying, Alex.”

“I should’ve noticed something earlier.”

The brunet tried again to hold Smith’s hands to comfort him. This time Smith didn’t let go.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”

They both stood facing each other, Smith’s gaze still fixed on the floor of their living room. Ross’s fingers glided over the man’s knuckles, tracing every bone, every vain, in his hands. Eventually, Ross pulled his hands back, only to wrap them around Smith’s shoulders.

Every discomfort Smith usually would have felt faded away as he leaned into his comforting touch, and he hugged back, drawing their bodies ever closer. Ross’ eyes held tears unfallen, but they cascaded down his cheeks once he felt Smith’s body shaking.

Pulling out of the embrace, Ross looked into Smith’s eyes, tears falling one after another from his eyes, down his cheeks and onto the floor. Reaching a hand up, he dried both of his cheeks with the sleeve of his hoodie.

A minute passed, letting the information sink in to Smith’s mind.

“I will spend every moment by your side.” Smith started. “We can do anything you want. At the end, you’ll be sick of me because I will be everywhere.”

“Smith, I’m never going to tire of seeing you.”

The auburn-haired man smiled sadly and wiped his eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’m not gone yet.” Ross chuckled humourlessly. “But, I’m going to miss you too.”

\--One and a Half Years Later--

Smith slid his tie around his neck, tucking the fabric neatly under the collar and tying it. 

Today, Smith and Trott decided to spend time by Ross’ graveside. The past year was especially hard on Smith as he wanted to give up being a YouTuber in respects to his boyfriend, and he had to wake up every day in an empty bed. Trott had also been hit hard with the news of Ross’ cancer and death, and he spent the past year living with Smith just to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.

The auburn haired man coughed and turned his head towards the open bedroom door to see Trott standing with his hands crossed in front of him loosely.

“Nearly ready?”

He nodded, reaching for his suit jacket lying on the bed. The shorter man stepped in, and helped Smith into the jacket, pulling him gently to face him as he tidied up his appearance.

“Come on, sunshine, let’s go.”

Smiling at his friend, Smith walked behind Trott out of the apartment and into the other man’s car. He strapped himself in and rested his head against the headrest.

“Do we really need suits?”

Trott closed the door and strapped himself in. “It’s smart. Plus, Ross loved seeing you in suits.”

The taller man nodded, shutting his eyes and relaxing into the seat.

-

A soft wind winded its way around the solitary graveyard, silently rustling the autumn leaves. The pair walked in silence towards Ross’ grave, and as soon as Smith laid eyes on it a tear rolled down his face.

Trott, spotting this, stopped and turned towards Smith who stopped also.

“Are you okay to do this?”

“Yeah.” Smith exhaled deeply. “I just miss him.”

“I do too, Smith.” Trott rubbed his upper arm and urged him forwards. “Let’s go.”

Standing at the grave, Smith’s eyes scanned over the grass covering where his boyfriend’s- no, ex-boyfriend’s body lay.

“Hey… Ross.” Smith began, slowly lowering himself down to the earth. “It’s- it’s been a year. I still miss you. I wish you were here with me. It’s difficult being alone.”

Trott glanced at the fresh flowers by the gravestone: Smith dropped by every Sunday for ten minutes just to replace the flowers if they needed to, or to touch the gravestone and trace over the letters engraved onto its cold surface.

“I’m spending the whole day sat by your side. Trott’s here as well. He’s been overprotective of me since your death, always making sure I don’t do anything stupid. I suppose you’d want to know what’s been going on while you’ve been gone…”

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out sadder than expected.


End file.
